Peach the Destroyer: Issue 051

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Good morning, Destroyer fans!

So with this comic, Peach the Destroyer is a whole year old (if you’re wondering why this happened on comic #51 and not comic #52, it’s because I skipped the numbering on the Thanksgiving comic). Because of this momentous occasion, I think two things are in order:

1. We need to cue up some victory music (apologies to Linkara, I’m stealing this bit from him...it’s okay, though. My wife’s convinced he and I are the same person).
2. I’d like to take a look back on the year that was and discuss what worked, what didn’t work, and what the future holds for Peach the Destroyer.

• One of the biggest mistakes I think I made with this comic was the rotating art style idea. Basically what this turned into was everyone looking kinda wonky for a few comics while I adjusted to the re-design. There will be another re-design when the comic comes back, but that should do it for a nice, long while.
• Another shortcoming this comic has had basically amounts to laziness on my part. When I started the comic, I think I had the first two week’s comics drawn and, going from week-to-week I don’t think I was ever more than one week ahead. This evolved into a weird experiment of spontaneous storytelling on my part. Basically stories would start with one comic and I didn’t know where I was going with it until I started working on next week’s comic. I think I got better at this as the year went on, but clearly I need more structure and planning moving forward.
• Fun fact: this was not the one-year anniversary story arc I had initially planned almost a year ago. The original plan was that Peach would get captured and, in a fit of desperation, Dr. Felis recruits my wife and I to rescue her (I didn’t get too far beyond that in planning, but I do know that this moment was going to be used somehow). Sounds like a cool enough idea, right? The problem is...frankly, the anniversary started to sneak up on me. I also had the Year Two storyline roughly sketched out in my head (more on that in a bit), but knew it had been a while since anyone had actually seen the mysterious archer cat, who was a key figure in the Year Two plan. Having him show up as a Cattus ex Machina (oh yes, Latin humor...I went there) felt more natural and he helped inform where we’re headed with the new arc.
• Hey, know who totally wasn’t a part of the Year Two plan? Dark Peach. When I was writing the script, I had the alarms go off in C.A.T.FORCE and I basically got to learn what was going on as the characters did. As soon as I wrote the words “DARK PEACH,” I realized this was actually better than the original plan (fair warning: the original plan for Year Two involved threatening my mom to explain string theory to me. I think we all dodged a bullet on that one).

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled on (and on) enough. It’s time for my weekly comic reviews! Standard warning applies, spoilers ahead.

• Flash Gordon: Zeitgeist #4
• All right, so we start the issue off with some rebels aiming to assassinate Klyltus (Ming’s right-hand man, who’s getting all buddy-buddy with Hitler) and Flash (AA-AAH! [sorry]) fighting a huge dragon thing with a catman. SERIOUSLY, THIS BOOK COULDN’T BE MORE AWESOME IF IT TRIED!
• As Klytus outlines the global assault Hitler’s army is enacting, we cut to Africa where there’s a SURPRISE CAMEO by The Phantom! Dude, comics are awesome! Although I do have to question the apparent retconning of Hitler as a sympathetic pawn in Ming’s machine. I’m sorry, I like my Hitlers as the equivalency of a Saturday morning cartoon villain, thank you.
• Aargh...right when Flash was gonna do something really cool and unite a prison ship into an army...Dynamite had to go and screw up the lettering by recycling  the entire page’s dialogue onto another page. Really distracting.
• So...I guess Flash got his army together. Meanwhile, back on Earth, the rebels seem to have caused a huge explosion. Fun.
• Snarked! #6
• Things start off at “crazy” with The Gryphon meeting up with his own version of Q, Professor Cube, who outfits him with a flying machine called the Twinkleba--err, Gryph-O-Plane.
• Team Snarked! (as I’m now officially calling Queen Scarlett, her brother, Wilburforce J. Walrus, etc...plus all them crazy folk on the ship) get attacked by another pirate ship helmed by the Mad Hatter (the Mad Hatter’s entire crew is a hoot, by the way, with dialogue like “don’t tell me about the Snark Wars, man. You weren’t there, man. You weren’t there!”).
• In the midst of the battle, Scarlett and the carpenter get caught. Walrus thinks fast and manages a rescue, but Team Snarked! wind up booted off the ship and reduced to a lifeboat for their troubles. All in all, an excellent issue.
• Aquaman #7
• This issue kicks off with the reveal of NEW 52 BLACK MANTA! He looks...y’know what? He looks like Black Manta. That’s really not a costume you can mess up. Anyway, he kills a lady in the jungle. This will be important.
• Aquaman and Mera (or, as the press is quick to name her, Aquawoman) take an Atlantian artifact to Dr. Shin for answers on who/what sunk Atlantis, but they’re interrupted by a jungle lady (Ya’Wara) with her pet cat, who tells Aquaman that “the Seer is dead.” She also wants to kill Dr. Shin because she thinks he was involved somehow.
• The issue ends with a cracked photo of what looks like a teenaged Aquaman with younger versions of the Seer and Ya’Wara, along with a bunch of other folks we haven’t seen yet.
• The Savage Hawkman #7
• Oh, soak this in, everyone...Rob Liefeld joins the creative team next month.
• Freaking Static shows up in this issue! It’s a weird team-up, but it works. Especially when Static’s able to disrupt the electronic impulses in the bodies of the zombie hordes looking to engulf New York thanks to Gentleman Ghost’s ritual with the Mortis Orb (by the way, I love that sentence).
• Gentleman Ghost gets defeated/dragged back to Hell by...the friggin’ warlock who the Mortis Orb was buried with. I’ll be honest, I did not see that one coming.
• Hawkman drops the Orb in a crevice in Antarctica, where I’m sure we’ll never hear from it again (alternatively, this may all be one elaborate prequel to The Thing).
• Justice League Dark #7
• Okay, first off, this is a crossover with I, Vampire, which I don’t read (go ahead, double-check the archives. I get more pageviews that way). I’d take issue with it, but vampires seem to make John Constantine cranky (what doesn’t?), and a cranky John Constantine is a funny John Constantine, so I’m going to allow it.
• Shade the Changing Man loses a few points in my book for reacting to vampires thusly: “...I mean, I kn-knew [vampires] existed as a cultural phenomenon on Earth. Bram Stoker. Twilight. But--”
• Seriously?! Batgirl shows up?! Okay, it makes sense since Vampire Armageddon is going down in Gotham (what doesn’t these days?), but it still feels...I don’t know. Forced? Random? Somewhere along those lines.
• Constantine and Deadman head into a gateway to the afterlife...I smell sitcom pilot!
• Teen Titans #7
• Hey, so...Danny the Street is part of the DCnU!
• The Titans break into N.O.W.H.E.R.E. to free Superboy and...yeah, things basically go from bad to worse for them as they battle through the nightmarish hordes of N.O.W.H.E.R.E. culminating in getting captured by some creepy creepy person in a cloak who claims to be the creator of N.O.W.H.E.R.E. and calls him(?)self Harvest.
• Superman #7
• Superman kicks off the issue fighting some...mech...thing? You can tell this is a seasoned, older Superman because his inner monologue mentions that this “stinks of a ‘call out.’ Kick up enough ruckus and see if Superman shows up.” Later he mentions that he should set up a web page so would-be villains could set up a fight in private. Gotta say, I can’t fault him for that kind of logic.
• We get to see S.T.A.R. Labs’ superhero clean-up crew, who take the mech thing in for study. I love these guys and would really like to see an issue from their perspective, because they lend a great “blue collar” sensibility to help ground a fantastic world with stuff like having one of them staring at a tablet and muttering “aww, fer th’ luvva...how’m I supposed to describe this thing in ten words or less?”
• We meet our new villain, Helspont, in his Himalayan hideaway as he monologues to absolutely nobody that he “[dispatches] a seeker to evaluate thralls [he] can cull from this world’s metahuman population.” This is a really specific monologue you’re giving to an audience of none, dude.
• Helspont (I’m going to have a really hard time taking that name seriously) has his mech thing attack Superman again and teleports Superman to him. He prattles on about how awesome he and his flaming-skull-for-a-head are before saying Superman should totally become his new intern to conquer the Earth, etc. Y’know, standard-issue supervillain stuff.
• Avenging Spider-Man #5
• We start in Avengers Mansion, where a bunch of the Avengers are reading one of Captain America’s old comics he drew during his scrawny Steve Rogers days in art school. To say it wasn’t his calling is...a bit of an understatement.
• I like Spider-Man’s take on the whole thing: “Do you know what this means? Cap’s a nerd” and “This is huge. I’ve got something in common with Captain America.” Totally the right way to handle this.
• Spider-Man turns an important Avengers mission into a misguided attempt to bond with Captain America’s inner geek. This results in Captain America...kinda-sorta blowing up at him, claiming he was saved from a life of being someone who could only draw adventures by being a soldier and having them instead.
• I really loved the ending, which had Steve and Peter mending fences, sitting in the...I guess Avengers rec room(?) and trying to develop a new comic book character. It’s a cute, soft character-driven ending that I really love this book for.
• The New Deadwardians #1 (of 8) - Suggested for Mature Readers
• This book takes place in an alternate-universe 2010 London where the population consists of vampires (the upper class) and zombies (the lower class). Our comic begins in the home of Mr. George Suttle, a vampire who hates the night because he keeps expecting sleep to come. A ruckus jostles him from his...lack of sleep and OH NOES! Zombies are...eating the maid. Yeah, this book earns its “mature” label pretty fast.
• The book ends on a crazy cliffhanger with the first murder in quite some time hitting the city. Mr. Suttle, the only homicide detective left, is at the scene and discovers that, not only is this a murder, it’s a murder of a vampire with “none of the three causes present: impalement of the heart, decapitation, [or] incineration.”

Well, that’s all for this week, kids. Thank you for sticking with me for a whole year of adventures. I’ll see you in a few weeks with the all-new Peach the Destroyer: Year Two!

Peach the Destroyer: Issue 050

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Hey, guys! So…yeah. 50 comics. Crazy, right?! Anyway, this is hands down my favorite comic that I've done so far. I really think everything from our unnamed archer...arching his eyebrow to the almost Doctor-like sensibility of him calling out our bad guy and standing as "this world's Champion" is guiding this comic squarely to what it was always supposed to be about. I also like that for once, the cliffhanger actually leaves you in a place where you can't wait to see what happens next (at least that's how I feel about it…hopefully it's not just me).

Anyway, I'll have plenty of time to talk next week. For now, onward to comic book reviews! I'm going to try things without the solicits this week because I don't think they really add anything to my reviews. Who knows, I might go back to them next week.

• Justice League #7
• Okay, two pages into this chapter, "The Villain's Journey: Prologue," we get to the present day and meet DC Comics' answer to Marvel's top-tier superhero military force SHIELD in the slightly-less-elegantly-named A.R.G.U.S. (Advanced Research Group Uniting Superhumans). They're the guys with guns who basically hold off the bad guys until the League shows up.
• We learn our bad guys consist of a scientist who was exposed to some stuff and now he can create these…little gooey, bitey masses of teeth and claws. Maybe not the most inspired design, but they still look like something you won't feel bad about seeing them get punched. Oh, he also has super strength.
• Batman tries to…y'know, be Batman and divide the team up in a complex Bat-strategy and Green Lantern literally tells him "We're the Justice League. We got this." And then Batman makes the funniest gritted-teeth angry face I think I've ever seen in comics. It's beautiful.
• Steve Trevor, Agent of A.R.G.U.S. (you watch, I smell spin-off comic) holds a press conference that turns into a bunch of paid journalists yelling "we totally want superheroes to run the government!"
• Steve also gets to Skype with the Justice League, which is a scene chock full of those bits of banter I love (my personal favorite is Batman telling Steve to "tell the U.N. to shut down that joke calling itself the Justice League International." It makes no sense in the context of Justice League International, but grumpy Batman always reminds me of this, so I give it a free pass).
• Our narrator (revealed to be the guy who wrote the in-universe Justice League book from the end of issue #6) tells us at the end of the issue that Steve Trevor is the key to destroying the League.
• Also: next issue: Green Arrow vs. Justice League. YAY!
• Oh, but we're not done yet! Starting in this issue, we begin the backup comic THE CURSE OF SHAZAM! Now, I was one of the many nerds who complained about Captain Marv--err, Shazam's New 52 makeover. That being said, a lot of my rage had gotten out of my system long before this issue went to print.
• This first story serves as a "teaser" for the story. Sure, we meet Billy Batson, and we even get to see more of Shazam's arch nemesis Dr. Sivana than we do Shazam (who shows up on the final page). I'm probably going to need at least another issue to see how Shazam holds up as a character, but…I think this is going to work. I actually have a good feeling about it.
• Birds of Prey #7
• This was a good book that made you think it was ending one plot and starting another when ZOMGSUDDENTWIST!!!
• The team THINKS they have the mastermind behind the mindwarp attacks (and he goes by the name of "Choke"). He barks out some orders and team members learn the hard way that they all have planted suggestions in them.
• Then, when the Birds assemble to properly interrogate Choke, he starts getting trippy like fatally disabling Poison Ivy's powers or telling Starling to start shooting up her teammates. Katana cuts his head off, saying the spirit of her dead husband that lives in her sword will carry on the interrogation (comics!). This makes you think the book's going to do a "what kind of team are we?" arc that threatens to tear the group apart.
• Finally, Black Canary and Batgirl are doing some investigating at Choke's apartment…when Canary gets a phone call from Katana. The man they killed? Wasn't Choke! Maybe that was an obvious twist, but that had me floored!
• Kirby: Genesis! Silver Star #4 (hey, look. I finally looked at the cover long enough to realize there's a correct way to type that out)
• Okay, so previously in Silver Star, he got blown up out of existence by a folded-entropy bomb (which, by the way, is my new favorite sci-fi term), but it seems something went wrong. Silver Star's alter ego, Morgan, still exists in the world his lady love Tracy returns to.
• It seems the world's gone crazy for superpowers; in this Bizarro world, Morgan describes it as "here, it seems like I'm the only person without superpowers, and there I'm the only one with them. Crazy."
• I'm going to level with you…I'm not 100% sure how this one ended. It looked like the reality Tracy left to was a figment of Silver Star's imagination? Or it unraveled and cancelled out the effects of the folded-entropy bomb? I'm sorry, I'm just not too sure…
• Wonder Woman #7
• Wonder Woman and friends seek out some help to get Zeus' latest babymamma out of the clutches of Hell. Who do they enlist? Eros (Greek mythology's answer to Cupid, who's packing two…let's just call them love guns) and Hephaestus, blacksmith of the Gods (who works in the back room of a jewelry store [well, actually the back room opens up to Mt. Etna, but the first way sounds funnier]).
• Hephaestus arms Wonder Woman with a crazy-lethal whip and Hell fires back by sending what looks like a giant Kimodo dragon made out of molten metal. Hephaestus tries to fight it…and fails.
• In the aftermath, we learn that Hephaestus employs the male offspring of Amazons. Wonder Woman, under the impression that they're slaves, tries to bully Hephaestus into releasing them. Yeah, it doesn't go over so well as the…Manazons (I'm sorry…look, if it's any comfort, they're never called that in the issue. I swear) view Hephaestus as their leader, who cares for them and lets them live their lives making art instead of the swift death the Amazons would have inflicted upon them.
• Also, a VERY warm welcome back to artist Cliff Chiang, whose work is especially well-suited for Wonder Woman. Cliff's skill makes her look like a warrior, the way she should be.
• Hoax Hunters #0
• Hoax Hunters has a really interesting premise: basically, what if there were a reality TV show that claimed it was hunting down monsters, but it was really disinformation? It's certainly a good explanation for how Ghost Hunters has been on the air for so long without actually…y'know, finding anything.
• They go to Russia to investigate some crazy 1960s spacesuit powered by crows. This one guy, who claims to be a "personal friend and assistant to the president" describes the Hoax Hunters as being "from silly American television program, chasing wolfman and UFOs." I love this book already.
• Need a plot recap? Here: "Let's tie these two up, then we can stop an immortal Russian from taking over the world." In case you're wondering, yes, Nazis are involved and no, it's not as much like the first Hellboy movie as you might be thinking (note: absolutely no one is thinking that).
• The book wraps up with the televised ending of Hoax Hunters, where they basically give a Scooby Doo explanation for the events in the comic and conclude the hoax as hunted. They then go to bury the spacesuit…but his spirit/murder of crows want to join the team! Wacky!
• This book was awesome. I say indie book of the week. If you're looking for something different than the typical offerings of DC and Marvel, this is the book for you.
• Supergirl #7
• This is Supergirl's "trial by fire" issue as she fights the Kryptonian Worldkillers and…yeah, I gotta say, this was pretty darn great. And the big plus for me was the fact that the Worldkillers WEREN'T 100% DEFEATED! Heck, Reign practically promises a rematch! You have no idea how happy that makes me, since the majority of the New 52 villains I've seen have been wrapped up in one arc with no hint that we'll ever see them again.
• Batman Beyond Unlimited #2
• This was still a good book…I'm still having occasional hiccups in placing it between the DCnU and the animated DC Universe I grew up with. I know this book exists in a gray in-between, but…I don't know, it's my own problem, I guess. But good book. Heck, in the Justice League story, they visit Dinosaur Island. DINOSAUR ISLAND! I have a hard enough time thinking about stories taking place in 2012 take place on Dinosaur Island, but the future, too? That's just crazy talk.
• Galaxy Man #4
• We're finishing this week with my local comic book shop's in-house book.
• Things start off crazy as friggin' space pirates try to hijack a shuttle launch. Yes. Read that sentence again because it is awesome.
• Cosmic Girl to token teenaged astronaut: "Aren't you a little short for an astronaut?" Oh, Galaxy Man. I do so love your referential humor.
• The book has some well-played dueling narration from Diago Dogstar, captain space pirate and Cosmic Girl. It creates some really cute parallels in the story.
• This is another stellar (no pun intended) issue that feels like a great all-ages book. You can feel the love of comics in every page of this thing.

Well, that about wraps things up for us this week. I'll see you next week for our epic ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY CLIMAX!

Peach the Destroyer: Issue 049

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You didn't think we were gonna make it to the one-year anniversary without seeing my favorite character, did you? Heck, the only thing he's missing is humming his own theme music. I'll talk more about his return later. For now, hopefully your reaction is similar to Peach's now that the cavalry's shown up. Anyway, not much for me to say this week (I'm just happy this comic wasn't crazy depressing like last week's…ugh), so let's move right on to comic book reviews…

• Batgirl #7
• The Solicit: One dark, tragic night, The Joker shattered the life of Barbara Gordon in the landmark story BATMAN: THE KILLING JOKE. In this issue, see a side of that story that has never before been told, as Batgirl faces the demons of her past!
• Okay, I don't mean to speak ill of Alan Moore (far be it from me to disrespect a self-proclaimed warlock), but I was never all that crazy about The Killing Joke. Maybe it's because I finally read it after years of internet hype, but what I found was…kind of an anemic story. It was a good story, but it felt like there wasn't a whole lot of meat on its bones. So let's just say I was coming into this issue with an open mind.
• The issue starts with Batgirl getting drowned in the sewer by…some metahuman punk in what looks like a tuxedo and devil mask. By the way, the graffiti in this scene reads "CATWOMAN LOVES ME" and "DARK VENGEANCE." Seriously, does Batman vent his steam by tagging up the sewers in his spare time?
• I'm a big fan of Barbara's self-deprecating inner monologues in this book, but I think Gail Simone's struck gold with "dear diary in my head…tonight didn't go as I had hoped at all" after Tuxedo McDevil pulls the Batman disappearing act on her.
• In a flashback to earlier in the night, Batgirl calls on Black Canary for a sparring session and, with one page, I don't care about The Killing Joke, I would gladly read a whole issue of Black Canary saying stuff like "Are you Batgirl? Did some cheerleader steal her costume?"
• Black Canary gives Barbara some tough love and helps her come to her senses before sending Batgirl off on the mission we started the issue with.
• Batgirl unmasks the thugs she'd knocked out and…one of them was one of the Joker's thugs the night he shot her!
• Superboy #7
• The Solicit: Superboy's come back to N.O.W.H.E.R.E. with vengeance on his mind, but Rose Wilson is waiting for him. Right from the start, she was the one meant to bring him down when he went out of control--and this fight is going to be out of control!
• I know this issue's supposedly built around Superboy fighting Rose Wilson (the issue's titled "Untamed Rose," after all), but his assault on the rest of N.O.W.H.E.R.E. is downright hilarious, with dialogue like "I'm a little fuzzy on the concept of mercy. You must have forgotten to teach me about it" as he kicks a guy almost out of the frame.
• Superboy gets dosed by synthetic Kryptonite and straight-up run through with a sword.
• Oh, and the book teases a Rose Wilson/Wonder Girl brawl in two weeks in Teen Titans.
• The Ray #4 (of 4)
• The Solicit: The final conflict between The Ray and the evil maestro who has been behind all his woes comes to a conclusion. Lucien will need to take his powers to an all-new level to defeat the evil Director and his reality warping abilities.
• This was a very satisfying comic; it really delivered on every conceivable level and I really hope this isn't the last we see of The Ray (a…dude at the end seems to imply he might show up in Suicide Squad, but that book's outside my wheelhouse, so I'll just keep hoping he gets his own ongoing).
• Thief of Thieves #2
• The Solicit: Conrad Paulson has turned his back [on] his life as Redmond, international master criminal, in order to regain some semblance of the life he left behind. Will it be enough to reconcile with his wife? Save his son from the life? Or will it end up getting them all killed?
• Somehow, I managed to resist this last month, but now I can't stop reading this book using the cast of Leverage…someone please tell me I'm not the only one.
• This issue gives us copious backstory on Conrad's reasons for quitting…and reasons why "the life he left behind" will probably stay in his rear-view mirror. This book is honestly one of the best movies you're not reading right now. I'm calling it now: I'm expecting someone to swoop in and pick up the Thief of Thieves movie rights fast and hard.
• Frankenstein, Agent of S.H.A.D.E. #7
• The Solicit: The siege on S.H.A.D.E. City comes to a bloody conclusion, and it may mean the end of the Creature Commandos! With the Hub under Humanid control and Nina's evil monsters staging a coup, S.H.A.D.E. headquarters is in total disarray.
• This issue started off on a rough note for me because after an entire issue of the Humanids taking systematic control of S.H.A.D.E., Ray Palmer just now got around to having the revelation "has anyone else noticed there aren't any Humanids around?"
• I love that, when Frankenstein comes home to S.H.A.D.E. after a long day of monster huntin' to find his voice commands are being overridden, he just flat-out kicks the door down and mutters "I hate technology." This is why I'm 100% behind Frankenstein as a protagonist. He gets stuff done.
• Oh, and Brother Eye's behind the Humanid…virus or whatever. So I can blame this entire plot on the OMAC crossover. Thanks.
• When two of our Creature Commandos bust into the top-secret armory, I was kinda hoping for some Easter Eggs in the collection of "insane weaponry that defy logic," but alas, near as I can tell there aren't any
• I'm not positive, but I think Father Time gets the award for Best Line of the Night: "Ray Palmer's a badass and The Hub is secure. What's your status?"
• Ooh, and Frankenstein's son is unleashed upon the world…dude, next month sounds awesome already!
• The last two comics this week are rated M for Mature. I mention this because I like to view Peach the Destroyer as an all-ages community, so I just want to make sure everyone's aware of that fact before we proceed.
• Saucer Country
• The Solicit: Set in the hauntingly beautiful Southwest, SAUCER COUNTRY is a dark thriller that blends UFO lore and alien abduction with political intrigue. With the help of her quirky staff, Presidential hopeful Arcadia Alvarado must pursue the truth of her alleged alien abduction into danger, mystery and awe.
• So, seriously, politics and religion are two things you can always use to scare me off a conversation. However, throw in a dollop of UFO mythology in the middle of a run at the presidency and all of a sudden I'm interested.
• Okay, this book actually has a character say "the party of which I am a member?" In what editor's head do those words sound natural?! What's really annoying is, right after that awkward mouthful, the same character flat-out says "Republican." So why didn't you say that in the first place?!
• Arcadia has a lot of…let's say "buildup" to…y'know, the whole "alien" thing. In one scene, she has a dream that seems to have been brought on by watching too much Doctor Who, she's in a…let's call it weird museum where she's shown "space and time, seen from outside."
• After the nightmare, Arcadia's convinced herself that her ex-husband had abused her. She's about to let her inner circle in on it when, during her speech announcing she's running for president, it all clicks and she realizes it wasn't abuse, she was flat-out abducted by aliens and there's an invasion coming.
• This book was awesome! That is all.
• Saga #1
• The Solicit: Y: THE LAST MAN writer BRIAN K. VAUGHAN returns to comics with red-hot artist FIONA STAPLES for an all-new ONGOING SERIES! Star Wars-style action collides with Game of Thrones-esque drama in this original sci-fi/fantasy epic for mature readers, as new parents Marko and Alana risk everything to raise their child amidst a never-ending galactic war. The adventure begins in a spectacular DOUBLE-SIZED FIRST ISSUE!
• I liked this book (though, again, rating warning). It's a simple story in a complicated universe and…it kind of feels like Star Wars by way of Greek mythology, in a weird way. This was a good book, plus it's a double-sized first issue for $2.99! With no ads! Seriously, even if you don't like the book much, that's a heckuva value.

Well, that wraps things up for this week, everyone. I'll see you next week; same Peach time, same Peach channel!

Peach the Destroyer: Issue 048

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Umm…so yeah. I'm gonna say this: this arc is getting really dark for me. When I finish writing just about any of Claudius' dialogue, I take a step back, re-read it and think to myself "wow. What twisted little corner of my brain did this all flow out of?"

Hey, the other big deal with this comic is that this is the first time I managed to get the color to work! This entire arc, Claudius was supposed to have red eyes, but for some reason I could never get it to work when I'd get the web-ready version set up. This week, because the color was so important (due to…y'know, magic), I made sure it stuck.

Anyway…onwards to comic book reviews! And spoilers. Lots of spoilers.

• Green Arrow #7
• The Solicit: Green Arrow's gone looking for trouble, and he's found it--in triplicate! Three women who give new meaning to the term "drop dead gorgeous" have our hero outnumbered and outgunned. Collectively, they're called "Skylark," and they've been sent on a secret mission with Oliver Queen as its focus!
• Okay, I may have been biased against Ann Nocenti, the new writer for Green Arrow, ever since she made a few references to Ollie being 24 years old (can we say "massive continuity issues with Red Hood and the Outlaws," anyone?), but page 1 automatically threw me when Oliver Queen started a one-man pity party with dialogue like "I hate my life. Split in two, neither half free." This is dialogue I'd expect to hear out of Superboy "I'll kill you to death" Prime, not billionaire playboy Oliver Queen.
• Also, I'm not a fan of the artist. I know, in two bullet points I've just ragged on the two main points of the new creative team. It's not that Harvey Tolibao's bad, I just don't think he's suited for this book. Put him on something like Frankenstein: Agent of S.H.A.D.E. or…heck, I'd be willing to try him out on a few issues of Swamp Thing (but just a few issues…I love what Yanick Paquette's doing too much to replace him full-time), but…I'm not too fond of how he's drawing Green Arrow (although, credit where credit is due, I did like his design work on Ollie's trick arrows…they actually come off as realistic and practical).
• Ollie meets Skylark (one name, three women…this could be a pronoun's nightmare) and they attack him to audition for a job. See, they're crazy for him and made a whole slew of new tech and want him to come to their Canadian lab to check it out. I'm pretty sure I've seen Craigslist ads that were less sketchy, but this is the same comic that started things off with "the Jersey Shore of supervillains," so I guess anything's fair game now.
• Okay, I take back some of my complaints about Tolibao. It seems like once he got that first splash page out of his system, his art started to tone down and even out. By about page 5 or 6 my nerd rage started mellowing out on the art.
• Well, I have good news: I finished the comic without wanting to set it ablaze (I'll leave that, as always, to Linkara, thank you). It's really weird, but I swear you can see this comic improving by the page. While I still have some slight issues with the new creative team, I'm interested to see if they can continue this upward trend.
• Swamp Thing #7
• The Solicit: Moss fills lungs. Leaves scrape across skin and wood against bone. A Swamp Thing is rising in The Green's hour of darkest need, but is Alec Holland a part of it or is he just bleeding out in a ditch? And as Alec falls, a horrible champion is taking the throne of the Bone Kingdom at Sethe's right hand!
• Okay, first off: dat cover. Seriously. I love everything about it. That looks like Swamp Thing is slowly replacing the chlorophyll in his blood with acid. And I love it.
• DC, you're killing me with putting ads on every other page here. Swamp Thing is a book all about having triply, crazy, 2-page spreads and you're harshing my mellow, man.
• Alec "Swamp Thing" Holland is dying, but is protected by the Parliament of Trees. Not that they're going to turn him into Swamp Thing or anything, no, they're dying too and want to make him suffer.
• Ultimately, through some powerhouse speechifying, Alec swamps out (I don't like it, but it's certainty a better alternative to "Alec things out") and I love it. After nearly seven issues, we finally get our titular character back! There's a solid page of build-up highlighting Alec's transformation, the entire time making you think "all right! I'm gonna turn the page and there's gonna be, like, a full-page image of Swamp Thing roaring back to life and it'll be awesome…" then you turn the page and it's a close-up of Swamp Thing's eye. And I love that. It's simple, but effective.
• For someone who's been waiting for Swamp Thing to show up in his own book, I could complain that this issue felt like a tease for next month's issue (Swampy ends the issue with "and now, Rot…I will show you war"), but this issue felt extremely satisfying.
• Justice League International #7
• The Solicit: With the Signal Men defeated and Earth saved from certain annihilation, the members of Justice League International expected to bask in glory and appreciation. Such is not the case as a new threat far more dangerous than anyone dared suspect emerges and attacks with dire results!
• Okay, that entire solicit is just lazy writing. I could've written this same solicit for DC last month without any knowledge of what's in this issue. I know because I still haven't read this issue yet and I already knew all of this.
• Things start out rough as the JLI deal with the aftermath of…y'know, exploding last month. Guy Gardner's Green Lantern ring and Booster Gold's forcefield protected them, but everyone else is in rough shape. Batman shows up ("watching from a rooftop across the street." Yeah, just admit it, Bruce. You wanna be on the team) to help Booster with rescue detail.
• A member of the JLI dies. It made me angry. Because I'm a nice guy, that's all I'm going to say about that because I want you to have your own little nerd rage moment(s) when you read this issue.
• I think Godiva puts things in perspective best: "A bomb? A simple freaking bomb? This isn't supposed to happen to people like us! We protect people!"
• I finally get confirmation that Skeets is still around in the DCnU. He's reduced to a wrist communicator, but hey, it's Skeets, everyone!
• This was a…deeply serious and somber issue. I knew some additions were being made to the roster, but I didn't know it was going to be at the cost of previously-established characters. Don't get me wrong, it's a good issue, just…know what you're getting into before you start.
• Stormwatch #7
• The Solicit: They've come to steal Earth's gravity! When a scientific experiment tears a hole in the barrier between dimensions, gravity miners from a forbidden universe invade our world. Can Stormwatch find a way to repel alien excavators?
• Seriously, it's 2012 and I just read a solicit that begins with "they've come to steal Earth's gravity!" How awesome is that?!
• This was a great issue, dealing with the messed-up parallel-dimension monsters of Chernobyl, which is the single greatest sentence I get to type today.
• Supurbia #1 (of 4)
• The Solicit: What goes down when the capes come off? Meet the Real Housewives of Earth's greatest super-team, the Meta Legion! It's the egos, the tantrums, and the betrayals of the super set. Find out what happens behind the masks as superhero families are faced with the sordid problems of everyday life - and then some! From rising star writer Grace Randolph (Marvel's Nation X, Her-oes) and hot new artist Russell Dauterman, this series takes the familiar super-team and turns it on its head with a scandalous, TMZ-fueled look at what it's like to live with a superhero!
• Oh, this is a silly parody of the Justice League. I'll say this: it's a good book, but I'm glad it's a miniseries since I'm afraid the jokes would wear thin if it had been turned into an ill-advised ongoing title.
• Lone Ranger #3
• The Solicit: The "Hard Country" arc continues with its first multi-issue story. The Lone Ranger is pitted against a new enemy who hides behind the symbol Lone Ranger holds most dear: a Marshal's badge. Tasked by a federal agent to stop a murderous gang of train robbers, Lone Ranger and Tonto find themselves ambushed and betrayed. The hard country that is the old west just got harder for its two greatest heroes.
• If you hate this book, you hate America. There. I said it.
• Captain Victory #4
• The Solicit: When Captain Victory brings a mysterious wounded woman on board the Dreadnaught Tiger, it's up to the mysterious amphibious Orca to discover just what happened to her! As he trawls through black waters of the planet Dok searching for clues, however, Orca's memories begin to surface. Will his past catch up to him just in time to drag him down? Or will Victory lose another crew member in a tragic accident?
• As good as this issue was (note: very), what with its introduction to the Kirby: Genesis analogue to Aquaman 'n all, I'm looking forward to next month's issue where, as this issue teases, "shadow people get hurt. A lot."
• Toy Story # 1 (of 4)
• The Solicit: All-New Four Issue Mini Series! New Adventures Featuring Woody, Buzz Lightyear And More! Andy's New Puppy, Buster, Loves To Play With The Toys - But If Woody, Buzz And The Gang Can't Control The Playful Pooch, All That Chewing And Shaking Will Damage Them For Sure!
• I wanted to love this comic because…dude, Toy Story. And it's not bad, but some of the dialogue's a little off. And I do mean a little; usually it comes down to a word or two in a line that makes it feel less like a Toy Story comic and more like illustrated Toy Story fan fiction. This book is almost there and that deserves a look, but hopefully things will improve in issue 2.
• Action Comics #7
• The Solicit: Metropolis has been captured! To save it, Superman must push the limits of his nascent powers as never before! Aboard the ship that has the city captive, The Man of Steel finds an important tool that may help him defeat Metal-zero and his boss!And as Superman fights foes in the sky, Steel must do what he can to protect those still in danger on the ground in a backup story by Sholly Fisch and Brad Walker!
• First thing's first: a long overdue welcome back to Action Comics artist Rags Morales! You were very (very) sorely missed!
• After two issues of…something that wasn't the main plot, we finally get back to our young Superman who's…wait, what's that, Clark? "…I can still see the alien spaceship with my zoom vision." Really, Clark? That's what you're going with? Zoom vision? Not super-vision or telescopic vision or…anything that sounds more dignified than "zoom vision?" Even General Lane thinks that's lame…and I never thought I'd actually side with General Lane (in my defense, the man did voice Darkseid, so I have every reason in the world not to trust him)
• Umm…Clark literally runs up to the spaceship. I like that the soles of his boots rip (ten seasons of Smallville and we never got a shoe rip!) and that he had the foresight to have an oxygen tank, but…no suit? Of any kind? Your arms are friggin' BARE in SPACE. How did that sound like a good idea?
• We get to hear Brainiac exposit about his origins. He moves from planet to planet amassing knowledge. On Krypton he was called Brainiac 1.0 and on Earth…he's known as the Internet. Think about that for a second…what percentage of Brainiac is now made up of cat pictures?
• Well, it was fun while it lasted, but I guess Clark done got his super-suit…oh, it also looks like he gonna be fighting Brainiac next month.
• We also get a nice, human-interest-style backup story as Steel tries to fight the good fight on Earth as Superman yells at Brainiac.

Well, that's (finally) all for this week. I'll see you next week as we start barreling towards the conclusion of my first year of webcomics!

Peach the Destroyer: Issue 047

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Okay, guys. Are you ready for some hyperbole? I'll assume you said yes. I'm pretty sure this is my favorite issue of Peach the Destroyer ever. I'm not sure if it's because we finally see Dr. Felis outside of a video screen and/or a flashback, because we finally get to see the infamous C.A.T. Force 5 (see issues 018 to...see them get mentioned), or because I got to work in a freakin' A-Team reference (I know I didn't really need to link to that...that one was just self-indulgence on my part).

Anyway, with no further ado, onwards to spoiler-filled comic reviews!

• Bionic Man #7
• The Solicit: Steve is reunited with Jaime for the first time since his transformation, but can even his true love find a place in her heart for a lover who is now more machine than man? The truth about the homicidal Hull's origin and its ties to Oscar Goldman come out, and Steve learns that being an O.S.I. agent is a lifetime commitment... sometimes an involuntary one.
• There’s something...relatable about a protagonist who can still get slapped by his gal, which happens in page 2 when Steve apologizes to Jamie about, y’know, her having to bury him when he “died.”
• Jamie tells a nice, sad little story about her parents. I don’t know if this particular scene was written by Kevin Smith or Phil Hester, but it’s a great, quiet little character moment in a story about a cyborg dude who punches people and sometimes you need those.
• The majority of this issue is spent as an infodump on our crazy bionic supervillain, Colonel Avery Hull, who’s described as “a real life G.I. Joe” before he even got to be bionic. Long story short, he’s (as I’m sure the viewers at home have already surmised) Bionic Man 1.0, and Steve’s mission is to “deactivate” him.
• By the way, I’m not linking to the cover here, but be warned that the cover is, fairly literally, a spoiler for the end of the book. Which bugs me.
• The solicit’s fairly honest for the book, really, though I’m not exactly pleased with how they ramp up the “will Jamie still love Steve?” angle.
• Justice League #6
• The Solicit: The Justice League is united at last against Darkseid. The awesome consequences of this high-stakes battle will resonate within the series for years to come! Geoff Johns and Jim Lee end their historic first arc with a bang!
• We get our first glmpse at Desaad and Steppenwolf and...yeah, let’s just say I can see these guys and the “New 52” Parademons coming from the same planet now.
• Okay, stand back, because I’m gonna unleash the one-two punch of badass moments of the week: Wonder Woman stabs Darkseid in the eye with a sword. Then Aquaman stabs the other eye with a trident. SERIOUSLY, STUFF LIKE THAT DOES NOT JUST HAPPEN! THAT IS JUST PLAIN AWESOME!
• Some groundwork gets laid when Batman saves Superman and Supes exposits “The death and torture Darkseid’s spread across a...multiverse. I think I saw...me.”
• I’m not ruining it for you guys, but...there is a beautiful 2-page splash page that literally made me exclaim “god I love comics!”, it was that good.
• Directly after the Magnificent Crowning Moment of Awesome (jeez, there were a lot of those in this issue), we get two pages of the League working as a team. Maybe it’s because you usually don’t see “teams” working as a team in superhero-related stuff (just watch about any of the X-Men movies to see this exemplified), but seeing this team fire on all cylinders after bickering for 5 issues felt like icing on the cake.
• We end with a ceremony thanking the League in Washington, DC (paying, I think, fairly blatant homage to Justice League: The New Frontier, which I highly recommend reading or watching, depending on your preference) and a backup comic featuring everyone’s favorite cloaked woman, Pandora (you remember her, right?).
• Kirby: Genesis - Dragonsbane #2
• The Solicit: Spinning out of KIRBY: GENESIS, Sigurd Dragonsbane and his band of Norse champions explore the astonishing Mythlands, where the heroes and legends of every culture on earth now reside. But when they venture into the Olympian region, they run afoul of both Circe and the Cyclops...and the power and majesty of Ulysses might not be enough to save them! Plus: Balduur reveals an incredible secret power...at the possible expense of his own life!
• Okay, that solicit offends me more than most because 90% of it’s just a plot summary of issue 1. Did that issue not sell well or something? Did people need a “previously, in Dragonsbane!” for issue 2?
• As if to prove a point that Dragonsbane is the book where anything can happen, friggin’ Ulysses shows up to save our pig--err, heroes from Circe’s clutches.
• I’m not sure why (or if it’s intentional), but something about our Nordic heroes reminds me of Jack Kirby’s Forever People. Just an observation.
• I’m going to say it: if you’ve remained on the fence on the entire Kirby: Genesis line, Dragonsbane is the best book to get you started. Much like Jack Kirby’s Fourth World, each book has a different flavor and manages to stand apart from one another, but add in the facts that this book A) rocks and B) is only at issue 2 make it an easy recommendation.
• Batman Beyond: Unlimited #1
• The Solicit: A new era begins with the debut of the oversized, monthly Batman Beyond Unlimited, featuring the print debut of the new Justice League Beyond! In the Batman Beyond chapter, legendary Batman artist Norm Breyfogle returns to draw the Dark Knight of the future with best-selling writer Adam Beechen. In “10,000 Clowns,” an onslaught of new Jokerz is plaguing Gotham City – and the implications of this chaotic clown menace could have disastrous consequences for Terry McGinnis and Bruce Wayne! And the debut of the Justice League Beyond is here, courtesy of the Batman: Streets of Gotham art team of Dustin Nguyen and Derek Fridolfs, as the first two digital-first chapters are available in print for the first time! Batman Beyond is a new recruit in the mighty Justice League, but the team will be immediately tested by a very Neo Gotham-related enemy! How will the team work together to combat this threat?
• So...does this mean Batman Beyond is canon in the New DC Universe? I suppose it’s easier to accept a walking Commissioner Barbara Gordon in a continuity where Barbara’s retaken up the cowl as Batgirl, but I still have to ask.
• I was surprised to discover that the writer for the Batman Beyond half of the book, Adam Beechen, didn’t have a history of writing for the show when it was on (as far as I could find), because this story felt like I was watching an episode of the cartoon (albeit with a far more detailed art style than the Bruce Timm “barrel-chested and angular” motif would allow).
• Surprisingly, it doesn’t take long for a ton of familiar faces to crop back up. In the Justice League Beyond story, we see the re-appearance of some of the Jokerz crew from Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker (and an appearance in a Justice League Unlimited 2-parter). Heck, even a few of the genetically spliced “Animal Kingdom” gang are familiar to me.
• Hey, Justice League Beyond? Know how you have “Barda: Exiled god from New Genesis” on your team? Yeah, I’m ignoring that and saying that’s Mister Miracle and Big Barda’s daughter. Why? Because I like legacy heroes, darnit.
• Overall, this was a good book and definitely worth a buy, especially if you grew up on the cartoon (though that’s not a requirement).

That's all for this week, everyone. Come back next week for another chapter in the adventures of Peach the Destroyer!

Peach the Destroyer: Issue 046

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What's this? Peach? Appearing in the comic that bears her name?! Whoda thunk it?! Anyway, I'm excited about this week's comic for two incredibly geeky reasons: 1- I'm probably the only webcomic you've read all week that namedropped a Faraday cage and 2- I got to have someone say (a variation of) "It's magic. I don't have to explain it." So yeah, this is a big week for me. Let's celebrate with my weekly comic reviews, shall we?


WARNING: HERE BE SPOILERS!


I'm trying something different this week: I put the solicit for each issue in with my review. This way, you get some idea of the plot in case I forgot to mention it.

• Aquaman #6
• The Solicit: Who sank Atlantis? Mera, the beautiful Atlantean assassin trained in the Bermuda Triangle, follows a trail of death and deceit to the one man who knows the ugly truth. But what does he want in return for his secrets--and how does it all tie into Mera's own dark past?
• We start with a flashback to...I guess Mera’s assassin training, where she proclaims “Aquaman will die!” This was a pretty big revelation to me considering...well, I’ll be honest, I don’t know a whole lot about Mera, so pretty much anything would’ve been a big revelation to me.
• Trouble comes up when Creepy McGropey tries to cop a feel with Mera in the grocery store and she does the only logical thing she can think of...break his arm. This goes exactly as you’d expect and the crowd turns on her pretty quickly.
• ...and then things get really crazy as Mera starts waterbending like crazy and throwing a royal hissy fit.
• “Aquawoman? Hahaha! You’re scared of Aquawoman, Randy?” I love this comic. I love it good.
• Okay, I’m not going to spoil it for you here, but there’s one scene in particular that will make you walk away with newfound respect for Mera and her powers.
• We learn Mera’s from a colony separate from Atlantis and, by refusing to assassinate Aquaman, she’s cut off from her people.
• The solicit, surprisingly, is kinda true...in its own twisted way. At the end of the issue, Mera returns home and meets up with Aquaman, who says they’re off to see Dr. Stephen Shin, who’s going to tell them who sank Atlantis.
• The Savage Hawkman #6
• The Solicit: Hawkman comes face to face with Jim Craddock, a.k.a. the Gentleman Ghost, a malevolent spirit obsessed with finding an ancient relic called the Mortis Orb. Can Hawkman stop Craddock from using the power of the Orb to unleash hell on Earth?
• That solicit basically covers the first page of this issue. It really makes me wonder how much the writer of that thing had to work with.
• Hey, New 52 Gentleman Ghost has a head, with a face ‘n everything! Granted, we only see it on one page and he keeps to the shadows because the “floating monocol and a tophat” look’s too iconic to ignore, but still.
• So Hawkman goes and finds the Mortis Orb in a cemetery, causing a bunch of corpses to rise up and attack him because...hey, zombies.
• Gentleman Ghost plans to use the Orb to restore his life, triggering a Zombie Apocalypse as a byproduct. The issue ends with the tease “Hawkman battles an army of the dead!” so...yeah. There’s that.
• Justice League Dark #6
• The Solicit: Enchantress has been subdued, but this team of misfits hardly knows how to celebrate when each is still wrestling with their own demons. While Zatanna and Constantine try to decide on their next steps, Deadman deals with his loss, and Shade the Changing Man tries to bring Mindwarp back from the edge of sanity.
• Madame Xanadu tries to get the Justice League Dark team together in a more...traditional manner. Namely the old “tell x people they have a one-on-one meeting with me and let wacky sitcom hijinks ensue!”
• I think with this new, slightly more traditional, take on Justice League Dark will be good for it. Sure, the team’s disgruntled, bitter, and will go through more growing pains than if Justice League International were comprised of nothing but a batch of Guy Gardner and Booster Gold clones, but that’s half the fun! I’m excited for this book now!
• I’m not, however, excited that this book is crossing over with I, Vampire. That’s one of those DC books I’m happy to pretend don’t actually exist.
• The Fury of Firestorm #6
• The Solicit: In the blink of an eye, Ronnie and Jason witness a horror so gruesome, the two young Firestorms will question their entire futures as superheroes. As if that wasn't enough, Pozhar, the Russian Firestorm, shows the two boys exactly how dangerous their world has become.
• ...okay, so...first four pages have our Firestorms dealing with 2000 people dying. Let that sink in because that’s probably the single most messed-up sentence I’ll type tonight.
• Actually, the whole issue’s about dealing with that event. Pozhar drops in and goads them and, after Ronnie and Jason beat each other up, Ronnie runs off to settle the score with Pozhar and Jason’s on the run from the law. It’s an action-heavy issue that feels like the prologue to a much darker story.
• Superman #6
• The Solicit: Recently, an onslaught of creatures has targeted Superman, nearly destroying Metropolis in the process. And now...Superman is helping them finish the job?! Guest-starring Supergirl!
• So...this issue wraps up George Perez’ run on the title. A lot of this feels like an epilogue and...I think Supergirl’s appearance may have been a little unnecessary (was the world really clamoring for a scene where Superman beat Supergirl to a pulp?). Everything kinda goes where you expect it to...fake Superman beats on Supergirl, real Superman beats on fake Superman, real Superman tosses fake Superman’s bits ‘n pieces into the sun. Y’know, same old same old.
• I know I keep harping on it, but a lot of this story feels reminiscent of Superman’s story in Wednesday Comics. And, now that it’s completed, I think I can safely say I actually like this story a bit more (bear in mind, it’s been a good year or so since I read my copy of Wednesday Comics). All the loose plot threads tie up nicely (maybe a bit too nicely since Perez is off the title), leaving us with a (mostly) fresh slate for the new creative team to take over next month.
• Teen Titans #6
• The Solicit: In the aftermath of their battle with Superboy, the Teen Titans make a horrifying discovery: Kid Flash has been knocked out of synch! If they are going to save their teammate, the badly beaten and battered teens need to sneak into the New York branch of S.T.A.R. Labs.
• Our first page has Kid Flash debating grammar (sorry, I really couldn’t pass up an excuse to use that link).
• In the aftermath of the Teen Titans/Superboy superbrawl, the Titans have to run from the police and help Bart Allen with his power issues (wow...I just realized I basically re-wrote part of the solicit. Sorry).
• I’m very pleased to see the appearance of Virgil Hawkins/Static in this comic...especially considering the public fallout that happened regarding the behind-the-scenes goings-on that lead to his own book’s cancellation.
• Oh, and we also meet the very annoying Grymm. I can tell he’s annoying because he has a messed-up jagged mouth, no lips, and it’s impossible for you to figure out how he talks. Also, he uses the same joke twice in one page.
• Going back to Virgil, I like his characterization in this issue. Bear in mind, I’m not too familiar with him outside of the cartoon, so seeing him running around like a Time Lord genius is pretty awesome.
• Oh, Kid Flash gets a new costume to save his life.
• The Ray #3 (of 4)
• The Solicit: Lucien can rescue Chanti from the clutches of the Isopods, but can he save his relationship with her? More important, can he save her family from the evil Director, who wants to destroy everything for his art?
• The Ray battles a TRON villain. I wish I got to type sentences like that more often, because that’s awesome. Seriously, this guy needs his own ongoing series. Need more? Here’s his origin story, in his own words: “Was it crazy to be reborn from a hundred yards of thirty-five millimeter film that was bathed in a Lazarus Pit?” How did anyone think a character this rich would only work in a miniseries?!
• Anyway, TRON guy wants The Ray to be the star of his movie. It’s a whole thing.

Well, that wraps things up for this week. I'll see you same time next week for more crazy Peach the Destroyer action!